01/07/2022

i'm glad i'm here again, connecting with myself again. for some reason, connecting with other people makes me wander away from myself, and therefore my goals and dreams one day, some time in the future, i don't wanna fall into that rabbit hole of regret,

06/07/2022

today i received my first salary?? i don't know what do we call it.. it's 80 tunisian dinar for a month of english tutoring, that is equivalent to 26 dollar, i havent sarted tutoring yet, tomorrow i wll so i need to prepare. this thing made me think of a lof of things i could do, i can make money as long as i have the skill, i will be working on a project that will help me make money. i think that tutoring is really benificial so why not have the necessary skill and develop it to be able to tutor people, and by doing so not only i will get the benifit of improving my english but will get to make money out of it. after all these years, i realized that life is tough and if you wanna keep yourself on the surface you need to be tougher than life itself, or else you are gonna get drowned down in the depth of the ocean. will try to be a genuine human being, make the most out of my time. so i don't regret anything later. one thing i need to focus on more is reading i need to read and read and read. knowledge is power. i'm still not sure as to what i should do with the money but i will buy a game or toy for my 5 year old cousin that is 20dt for the toy, and will give amal 10dt that she owes me. with the rest i will buy a headset, because that's one of the most important things that in need rn, one month later will buy a graphic tablet so i could draw and tutor on it. will go now buy the toy. c you soon.

22/07/2022

i don't feel like writing, but i need to. it's the only way to reconnect with myself. how can we connect with others without losing the connection we have with ourselves? this is a question i haven't thoought ever of, are there people who can do both? is it just me, or others feel also the same. the more i grow the more i realize that connecting with yourself is the most valuable kind of connection there is, sometimes connecting with people makes you alienated, strange to yourself. yesterday i saw this meme of a crowd raising their hands when someone asks them "who wants to chase desire", and not raising their hands when someone asks "who wants to recognize impermanence". everything is temporary, the feelings you feel for someone you like, the person who you decide to spend the rest of your life with. everything. for some reason i feel like i m saying non sense i should go now, but it's nice that i wrote something today, it's a reflection of how dissociated from myself i have been.

26/07/2022

i hate how this website looks now, i think i hate everything, not new at all. i am fine though...

27/07/2022

we are a bunch of selfish, scared pussies.